Falling Apart
by krwlngmieskeen
Summary: Came out of nowhere. A little part of what I imagined about the coming episode "The Girl Next Door". Does Sam feel able to fight his hallucinations? Find Out. FIRST STORY! please R&R! Rated T just in case.


**Hello guys! My name is Agustina, and no, I'm not new here. I've got an account already, but that's for other stories I write.**

**This account is just for Supernatural fics, so I hope you enjoy'em all!**

**This is a little one-shot fic that came to my mind after watching a lot of episodes of SPN, I'm completely obsessed for the time, so I need to discharge myself somehow, haha.**

**It's just a little part that I imagined of the 7x03 episode. Of course I know it won't be like that, I just imagined it.**

**Hope you enjoy ;)**

**Rated T for strong language.**

_**Falling Apart**_

_Sam aims and shoots, the bullet hitting the wall he can't see, because he thought Lucifer was there when he really wasn't._

"_Whoa whoa! Sam! This discussion does not require a weapons discharge!" Dean screamed the hell out, scared of the noise, confused by his brother's reaction._

_Sam started to breathe heavily, he couldn't control himself anymore. __He felt how he slowly and slowly started to lose his mind._

"_Look at me" Dean said, trying to get close to him, Sam still trying to catch his breath again. "C'mon... you don't know what's real?" he asked, afraid of the answer._

"_No, I don't know, I don't know anything!" he yelled out loud, turning around, grabbing his head with one of his hands, and holding the gun with the other. "I'm losing my mind, I don't feel like myself anymore, what am I supposed to do, Dean! WHAT!" he was screaming for help as loud as he could, but sadly, nobody could give him what he needed. __He was desperate, hopeless. And that drove Dean crazy._

"_Sammy, calm down. I know this is hard, but you know we'll figure this out. No matter what it takes, I'm gonna help you, I'm gonna get you out of this nightmare, but please, calm down" with his hands up, his older brother was trying to get him back to reality. His words always worked, but he wondered if this would work now._

"_Calm down! How can I calm down, Dean! __Someday.. someday this son of a bitch will make me lose control. I won't know who's against me and who's not, and I'm gonna end up killing everybody!" little Sammy yelled again, his breath fading away. Dean was scared of everything he was saying, but he had to keep on fighting._

"_That's what I'm trying to make you understand, I told you, that's how you'll end, Sam" the voice in Sam's head resounded, played by Lucifer. __He tried to push him, to rush him, to do stuff he shouldn't do. __Sam closed his eyes and tried not to hear him, but it was impossible._

"_You should aim that gun to someone else than your brother and me now. You know where to shoot" this voice pushed him again. It was getting deeper and deeper into Sam's feelings, into his reactions. Was it convincing him?_

"_Sam" Dean called him again, his little brother looked lost once again. "He's right..." Sam muttered, looking down._

"_Who's right?" Dean asked, impatient and confused, looking at him with fear surrounding his eyes._

"_I have to- I have to kill myself, Dean. I can't keep living, not like this. Someday I will kill you all, and I don't want that, I fought too hard not to become the monster I was meant to be. And for that, I have to stop myself" Sam explained, not wanting to believe in his own words. He looked at the gun, and sadly, he looked pretty decided._

"_What! NO! Sam! Please... don't give up! I won't let you give up! __We survived to a lot of bad things, we lost people we loved, we suffered a lot but somehow, we got what we were up to get. Do you think is worth to die like that? Suiciding? Sam please, get that thought out of your head right now, don't let Lucifer, or whoever, convince you of something like that, please" hearing Sam speak that way just broke his heart. Was Sam, who's been always strong, talking about suicide? It was completely out of mind._

"_No, Dean. There's no turning back for me. I'm wasted, no one can save me. Sooner or later I'm gonna die or I'm gonna kill everybody, and I'd rather die, and avoid worse things" Sam said, his tone of voice became firmer, and he didn't stop to look at his gun._

"_Sam, please, stop that!" Dean screamed, he didn't know what else to do. "I'm sorry, Dean" Sam pronounced for the last time, took the gun, aimed towards his head and shot._

"_**SAM!"**_

_..._

Dean woke up, covered in sweat, after having an awful nightmare of a moment they lived, but that didn't happen that way in the reality. His breath became heavier, and he started to look around. He was in the hospital, where he had been taken with his brother after the last attack of the Leviathan guy. He fell asleep beside Sam's bed. He seemed to be there for a long time, so long that he fell asleep waiting for his brother to open his eyes. He looked at him, calmly sleeping, with all those cables around. He never had to see Sam in this kind of condition, but there's always a first time.

"There you are" Dean muttered, while closing his eyes, probably thanking God that it was all a dream and that Sam was still there, alive.

He looked confused and afraid, the situation wasn't good at all. Bobby was still gone, he didn't know if he was even alive, the Leviathans were taking over everything, Sam had a head trauma and almost a psychotic break, and he had a broken leg. Yeah, any human being in this case would be already nuts, stressed, craving for help, but Dean tried to keep himself calm. That was the best he could do.

Suddenly, little Sammy finally woke up too. He looked terribly aghast, but he kind of slowed down when he saw where he was and with who. His heart began to beat slower, and his nerves went down for a second.

"Dean" he pronounced quietly. He felt as happy as never to see the only company he wanted to have.

"Sam! God, finally awake. How are you feeling?" Dean got surprised when he heard his little brother's voice, it's like a part of him came back to his body. He looked at him carefully, waiting for an answer.

"I'm.. good, my head hurts but... I'm doing good. What...what happened?" He asked, letting a sigh out. He tried to remember, but there was just a hole in his head.

"Well, the last Leviathan we were fighting with attacked you just some seconds before I let that car fall on him. You fell to the ground, and you have now a head trauma. Sounds good, huh? Doctors said you need to rest for the moment, and be checked, of course" Dean explained what happened. Sam didn't get it very surprised, he imagined something like that happened.

"Right.. that's why I woke up in the ambulance" at least he remembered that. "Yeah" his brother muttered. But his tone of voice caught Sam's attention. He headed his gaze to him. He realized Dean didn't have a good look on his face. He looked terryfied, and not to mention, with all this sweat around.

"Dean, are you okay? You look.. scared, or confused" Sam couldn't help to ask, worry wandering his words.

"Yeah yeah, I'm okay" Dean lied, not trying his best performance. Sam didn't believe that.

"Seriously, Dean. You don't look fine, can you tell me what's going on?" his tone of voice came out impatiently this time. He hated when Dean lied about his "status".

"It's just that-" he tried to explain, but he stopped himself to let a sigh out. "I'm lately having these- dreams, of you..." he looked down, as he tried his best to confess.

"What? Having me in your dreams makes them a nightmare?"

"Killing yourself, Sam. I'm having these dreams of you killing yourself, saying that you're not strong enough to resist this, that you're going crazy and that you'll end up killing everyone" he raised his voice this time. Sam didn't know what to say, he was actually shocked. He stayed in silence, a deep and awkward silence.

"I don't know why but those dreams are torturing me. I'm dreaming of situations we already lived, but they turn out different, with you, taking this rare decision. I'm watching you die in my dreams, not a pretty nice show. I'm tired..." Dean kept on explaining, this time he showed himself stressed. He closed his eyes and let a sigh out again.

"Well.. maybe that's what I should do..." Sam whispered, stopping to look at Dean. Even if that was too low, Dean could hear it perfectly.

"What? Sam, are you nuts!" Dean became angrier and the fear took over his emotions once again.

"Dean-"

"No! Sam, it's useless! Completely useless! You're strong, you always keep your hopes up. Even when nobody trusted you, you kept your hopes up. Why would you give it all up now? It's pointless!"

"Dean, I don't know how long I can control this. I almost shot you tonight, I couldn't know what's real and what wasn't real. I see him everywhere, every fucking where. I saw him in the ambulance, he told me he wasn't going to go anywhere. He's gonna follow me until I fall to pieces, he's gonna get it! Sooner or later, he will!" Sam was losing control again, he couldn't believe what he was saying, but that's what he felt, and Dean just couldn't hear any other word like that coming out of him.

"No, Sam. I ain't gonna let you. We're gonna fight this, the same way we fought so far. You know we're gonna go through this, start believing in yourself. We'll make your hallucinations disappear, I swear, Sammy. Just please.. please don't say that again. Because I'm not gonna let you give up, I'm not" Dean let all his feelings out, he just couldn't let all those nightmares come true.

"Dean-"

"We'll never mention this, okay? Don't ever say something like this again, ever, or I swear I'm gonna break all your bones if that's necessary, and I ain't joking" rude tone, but covered in worry and despair.

Sam stayed shut once again, there was nothing else he could say. He understood what Dean said to him, so he should take that option out of his list.

**Crappy, isn't it? Well, this is like the first fic I write about Supernatural, so I'm sorry, hehe.**

**I only hope you enjoyed it, I made it kind of dramatic, I love to see Dean worried about Sam, so there you got me xD**

**Please, review this and I might write more fics, longer ones and... better ones of course. Thank you all for reading!**

**SPN FAN FOREVER!**


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